I have Landed in Ashland!

I have landed in northern Wisconsin. I now work for Chequamegon Food Co-op. Read about my culinary adventures with the cull bin at http://abandonededibles.blogspot.com/!

Vagabonding will be on temporary hiatus. Aloha!
Hj

A Place to Hang My...Wig

Where the fuck am I?
How did I get here?
After seven weeks of vagabonding, from Oregon to California to Denver to Minnesota, I have somehow, someway, found myself in Ashland, Wisconsin sleeping in Jackie's spare bedroom whilst airing out my wigs and drinking High Life on the shores of Lake Superior. And I've decided to stay! Moral of the story: all roads lead to...Wisconsin? Awwww, shit.

Denny and Mel return to the island soon from NY...not fair. Whaaaaa!
-Hj

Little Heenah Can DRANK!

Ring the bells, sound the alarms! Hannah Jo Johnson is officially of legal age to consume ALCOHOL. Oh good lord...
To commemorate, Hennah and Co. came Up Nort to wig up and invade Underdogs. And yes, we DID bring a spare mullet in Hannah's purse....and yes, we DID find a home for said mullet immediately upon arriving at the bar (atop J. Schultz's head). Three cheers to Benski and Shawn for being good sports and rockin' their bows and hairpieces HARD. Hip hip, hooray!

Lake Beauty Revisited

After the marathon and out reunion with Gretchen, it was time to relax. I have no idea how the marathoners survived those first couple of days post-race; it was painful just to WATCH them hobble around. At any rate, we had a mini family reunion on the shores of Lake Beauty, and I got in some more quality Athena time. I think I'm addicted!

Gretchen!

It's been nearly two years, but FINALLY...we have been reunited with our beloved Gretchen, and our old Hawai'i contingency is complete once again! Although we only visited the Doctor a couple times, it was wonderful to see her and meet her new man (and his heaters). We love you, Helga!

Grandma's Marathon

CONGRATULATIONS Joe, Denny, Alexa, and Jean! We are all SO proud of you for running your collective asses off!

The Cabin at Lake Beauty

Holly and Athena came out to play! And I found a phallic rock in the garden, courtesy of Uncle Mike. Is it inappropriate that I posted pictures of my niece and a penis rock in the same entry? Hmmm...I'll have to think on that.
Ahhhh, Minnesota!

White Castle and Lake Calhoun

Can't go wrong with a 78 cent cheeseburger and scenic drive around Minneapolis. As an aside: how HOT are Uncle Joe's glasses? Words don't even do them justice.

Adieu, Denver

A few things:
1) MAHALO to Lynn, Alexis, and Amanda for being collectively AWESOME.
2) Denver dentistry = amazing
3) I'd like to be the Mayor of Morrison, and the caretaker of the Hot Tub Cottage. Can this be arranged?
4) I did NOT drink enough Coors on this trip!
5) Watch out, Denverites...I'll be back!

Stay tuned for the continuation of the circus adventures once Denny and Mel arrive in MN. Until then--aloha nui loa! See ya'll soon.

Meli Sue Makes a Friend

Post-Rockies game, we found ourselves in a watering hole that offered $3 Jager shots and $2 High Lifes. Are we in heaven? Nope....just...downtown Denver. And, as you can see, Mel quickly made friends with a gigantic stuffed bear, much to the horror of Amanda and Alexa. Grrrrrrr!

Colorado Rockies Game

An absolutely beautiful view from the stadium. $4 tickets and $2 cups of processed cheese at the concession stand? I am IN LOVE!

Phantom Canyon Brewery: Colorado Springs

We came, We tested, We Conquered...
We left.

Garden of the Gods

Lynn very graciously drove our sorry asses around Colorado the other day to see GARDEN OF THE GODS (insert booming male voiceover here) which was...bizarre. Seriously, I felt like we were in Arizona or New Mexico at times--lots of rock formations, arches, red rock, dry heat, etc. But it was super cool to check it out: a BIG mahalo to Miss Lynn Hughes for making our day perfect! (PS More pictures to follow; I am currently dealing with some technical problems...back in a bit.) Ahui hou, HJ

Buttman

I love my cousin!

Red Rocks, Morrison, and...The Hot Tub Cottage?

Red Rocks: Awesome outdoor amphitheater in Colorado! Beautiful.
Morrison: cool lil' town near Red Rocks. Vinny's Bar: great watering hole with a funky outdoor lounge area.
Hot Tub Cottage: deserted creepy hot tub hotel located in Morrison. This shit is RIGHT UP MY ALLEY!

Denver Sidewalk Chalk Festival

What a wonderful weekend! My first day after arriving in Colorado, and I got to meet up with some old friends and check out the chalk festival in downtown Denver. I ate some delicious pork belly at Rioja, sampled a few Everclear-infused margaritas at Rio, and checked out the art scene: lots of dogs and hippies, hot damn. So far, I'm loving Denver something fierce!

Aloha, Denver!

We have arrived! Everybody made it in one piece...I think.

Sweet Dreams from The Howard Johnson Airport Express

Hush, little baby, don't say a word. Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird. And if that mockingbird won't sing, Papa's gonna buy you a diamond ring, And if that diamond ring turns brass, Papa's gonna buy you a sweet piece of ass. And if that piece of ass gets broke, Papa's gonna buy you a midget in a coat. And if that midget in a coat won't pull, Papa's gonna buy you a cart and bull. And if that cart and bull turn over... ecck, screw it--you're a spoiled little brat! Here's a picture of us passed out in a Portland hotel bed. Enjoy.

2,000 Miles in Six Days

AS The West Coast portion of our trip winds down, and as we sit in 2 hours of Portland rush hour traffic in search of our hotel for Friday night, I ponder all the amazing places we've seen in the past five days: the tall, serene redwoods at Redwoods National Park, the California Coastline on HWY 1, the sweeping, epic adventure that is Big Sur, the wineries on Hwy 46 on the way to Oakhurst, the majestic and intimidating Yosemite National Park, wet and rainy Mount Shasta, and all the beautiful little unexpected stops along the way. And don't even get me started on the food! Clam chowder, REAL crabcakes, salmon jerky, the rocket fuel at dutch bros coffee, in & out burger, and of course beer beer beer beer BEER. I personally have also discovered the healing power of Denny's $2 breakfast menu, realizing that I can fill up on a plate of hash browns and biscuits and gravy for two dollars. TWO DOLLARS, people! Am I in heaven? Nope, I'm at...Denny's.

And so, we bid you adieu as we wrap up the west coast portion of the circus. Have no fear, we will be posting our adventures SOON in the new locale: Denver, Colorado! See ya'll on the flip side. --HJ

Mount Shasta. Finally.

Eff you, Mount Shasta! We had to spend the night in a cheap nasty hotel in order to see you. At least you were worth it...oh, so beautiful! All is forgiven.

PS Buttman + Boner + beers = trouble

Castle Crags State Park?

Question: what does one do when one encounters a giant bear in the campsite that he or she just checked in to?
Answer: get the fuck out of there and head to FINLANDIA!

(no, seriously, we pulled into our wet and rainy campsite late Thursday night near Mount Shasta only to find a bear rummaging through the fire pit. Suffice to say, we hightailed it out of there and found a nice lil' no-tell mo-tel a few miles away with a community sauna, 60s decor, and vintage yellow chairs in the 'lounge'. Thank GOD we had a case of Coors and bottle of Jagermeister in the trunk to get us through the night.)

Mount Shasta, HO!

...on the road again....
and again...
and...AGAIN...
hoping to rest our weary heads at Castle Crags near Mount Shasta. Boner really wants to know where the Shasta soda factory is located.

Yosemite National Park (Part II)

Yosemite National Park (Part I)

Although we got the 'wham bam thank you ma'am' version of Yosemite, it was still beautiful! The traffic? Not so much. I can't even IMAGINE what it's like during peak season at the park....yikes!

One Last Thing...

Gus Smith, I am DYING to see your curtain-crafting skills!

Joyful Gusts: Wiggin' Out in Oakhurst

A real, actual conversation snippet:
Gus: "yes, well, I had to give up most of my costumes when we moved to California. I had to get rid of my red sparkly dress AND my black dress!"
Melanie: "you mean...you have a costume supply too?"
Gus: "yes, but all I have now is a small box of costumes; it's very sad"
Melanie: "wow, so...this must be a Northland thing? Heidi is making SO much more sense now..."

PS a very BIG mahalo to Gus and Joy for hosting us and making a delicious dinner! We had SO much fun; it was great catching up with you two! xo